Bipolar disorder is a complex psychiatric illness that can cause major upheavals in your life. Although there are some symptoms that usually appear in most people with the condition, overall the illness can look different from person to person. There are several types of bipolar, but for the purposes of this page I’ll talk about the two that I have lived experience with.
For information on the various types of bipolar, please visit the bipolaruk.org website, it is a great resource.
Bipolar is often a difficult conditions to diagnose accurately due to symptoms that can overlap with other illnesses. I was diagnosed with clinical depression eight years before my bipolar diagnosis. This isn’t unusual, on average it takes ten years to be correctly diagnosed with bipolar.
For me my symptoms were predominantly chronic depression interspersed by episodes of hypomania and severe anxiety. This was diagnosed as type 2 bipolar. Hypomania is an elated mood, that doesn’t get to full mania. For me it came with high energy, reduced need for sleep, racing thoughts, suicide ideation, risk taking, agitation, hyper fixation and over spending. Not as much fun as it sounds!
Bipolar is treated with psychiatric medication and talking therapies. However it is not a one size fits all, and it can take a long time to get the right cocktail of medication that works for you. I’m currently ten years in on my treatment and I’ve still not found the right medication, though I think I may be close. Neither the talking therapies or the medication cure you of bipolar, they just make the symptoms more manageable. Bipolar is a lifelong condition, there is no cure. You can have periods of stability, though I haven’t experienced that for a long time.
Six years after my bipolar 2 diagnosis I became really ill. I was severely depressed, but with high energy, racing thoughts, suicidal ideations, I didn’t need much sleep, I had lost touch with reality at times and had both visual and audible hallucinations. I felt like I’d lost control of my mind. After two weeks of feeling like this I attempted to end my life by taking an overdose. I wasn’t successful of course, but this culminated in a ten week stay on the psychiatric ward of a local hospital. A challenging experience to say the least.
Once back home I was referred to the Regional Affective Disorders Service (RADS). After an intense appointment they changed my diagnosis from bipolar 2 to bipolar 1 with the addition of complex post traumatic stress disorder (cPTSD). Bipolar 1 is diagnosed when the patient as had at least one manic episode lasting over a week. RADS have some treatment suggestions including new medications and other therapies. I am exploring these with my psychiatrist currently.
Bipolar will always be a work in progress for me, but I think the new medication is having a more positive effect than any I’ve previously tried.
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